2 Poems by Dan Turner

Nice Day for a Drive

Everybody feels better when they fill up their tank with ethanol.
We’re cutting down our reliance on petroleum.
We’re sticking it the Middle East.
Those Sheiks aren’t getting fat off of us.

The amount of grain that fills a 25 gallon tank
could feed one hungry person for a year.
That’s what we call a person who doesn’t have enough to eat;
a hungry person.
Good a name as any, I guess.

860 million people own cars.
2 billion people live below the nutrition level.
In other words, they’re hungry.
But, we keep using grain to fill up those gas tanks.
That makes grain scarce and more expensive.
2 billion people can’t afford grain,
so they go hungry.

You might think we could vote to give more grain to the hungry.
Folks should favor that about 2 billion to 860 million.
But, it isn’t about voting.
It’s about survival of the fittest.
Those 860 million, they can afford to eat
and they can afford to fill their cars.
They like their way of life.
That 2 billion, they’re just trying to stay alive.


The Great American Pastime

The President threw out the first pitch on Opening Night.
He waited in the dugout while they checked to make sure
no malcontents were in the crowd.
Like any self respecting malcontent would be caught dead at a
Nationals game.

While he was tossing the ball, his hatchet lady was
in Johannesburg accusing Zimbabwe of having rigged
their election.
This administration has run the long con twice
and they are accusing someone else of rigging
an election.

After the President left the mound,
he went upstairs to have the announcers
kiss his butt.
Most former players, celebrities and
anyone else a network wants to give
face time to during a game
is on and off in half an inning.

The President hung around for two innings.
Why not, he’s a figurehead.
He doesn’t really have anything to do.
He’s more retired than an ex-ballplayer.
It’s the guys who put him in office that are busy.
Continuing to screw the nation.